Help Wanted

Temporary position available. Start immediately. Take care of 19-month old and 4-year-old 24x7 for at least two months while I catch up on my sleep. Must also take care of everything related to house and family function on a daily basis, with the exception of actually making money. Hubby brings home the bacon and will usually take care of the grocery shopping as well, as long as you make the menu and the grocery list. Discuss your salary with my husband. I'm outta here.

**Edited to add: What, no takers? This post has been up for hours! I forgot to mention that Slipshod brings home dinner whenever I call him at work and ask him to... a task he will no doubt be performing tonight, because after interrupting my sleep nonstop for the past two or more (I can't remember how many anymore - brain no longer working) nights, The Bug didn't nap today. She did fall asleep on me downstairs at one point but woke up when I was finalizing Sweet Pea's preparation for school 20 minutes before we had to leave AND THEN Sweet Pea asked repeatedly to stay home today, so it turned out I could have had The Bug all cozy in her crib after all, where she would have napped for an hour and a half or longer. But since that nap got interrupted, no other nap was taken, despite my attempts to help her to get to dreamland. I have let the TV do a lot of parenting today. Sweet Pea is currently watching Totoro for the second time in a row. I don't effing care.