Thursday, March 30, 2006

Scary Kid Stuff

First, there was the dream I had this morning that went ON and ON and ON... that I lost Sweet Pea in an airport - actually it was worse than that - we were already on the plane, but the door was open like it would be on a bus. As we were taxiing through the tunnels (?) to the runway, Sweet Pea got out and ran behind the plane. The driver (did I mention that the plane was like a bus?) said that we'd go back and get her, or something. But he kept going and the plane took off! I think I jumped off the plane before it took off and ran EVERYWHERE looking for Sweet Pea but couldn't find her, and had all kinds of horrible thoughts about never seeing her again because she could have gotten lost ANYWHERE in the airport or taken by ANYONE and sold into child slavery or what have you. It was truly awful. Then I think somehow we were at our next destination, and a nice old couple had taken her with them and bought her a whole new wardrobe and suitcase and jacket, etc. and left her tied to a railing on some nice stairs in front of a food joint in the next airport for her parents to find. WEIRD!

And now for the real-life scary stuff...

About four times in Sweet Pea's life she has nearly (or maybe actually) passed out after a fall. The last two times I remember clearly. The first of those times was months ago and she was in her room with the door closed, playing with Lois the cat. Unbeknownst to me, Sweet Pea had climbed from her bed onto her changing table - and yes, she fell off her changing table to the floor. I heard her scream once and could tell from her tone that it was a bad situation, so I ran to her room and when I got there she was lying on the floor on her right side with her right arm straight up from the shoulder, under her head, and she looked like she was really spaced out. I picked her up and she didn't say anything or cry. She was completely limp and did not respond to me for quite some time. Less than a minute, but still, it was VERY scary. Then she took a huge breath and started crying really hard. After that she just wanted me to hold her, and she wanted to go to sleep. Of course I did NOT want her to go to sleep. I didn't know if she had hit her head at all, and I was worried because her arm was still limp. I kept waking her when she fell asleep on me, and shined a flashlight in her eyes to make sure that her pupils were dilating correctly. I called our doctor's office but our regular doctor was not in (he only works Mon-Thurs, and OF COURSE this occurred on a Friday - she only gets go-see-the-doctor sick on Fridays too). I left a message with his physician's assistant and she sounded pretty concerned but had to check with another doctor. That other doctor didn't call back for 4 or 5 hours and by then Sweet Pea was back to normal, so he passed it off as normal.

We had another fall and recurrence of the freakiness last month. This time, for the first time, there were other witnesses besides me. Sweet Pea and I were visiting my sister and brother-in-law. It was before dinner and Sweet Pea was on a dining room chair next to my brother-in-law while he drew her hilarious pictures and told her funny stories about them. I was sitting in the next chair over, though she and Uncle were sitting at the side of the table and I was in the chair at the end of the table. I was not paying attention to how close to the edge of her chair Sweat Pea was, and wouldn't you know it, she was squatting right on the edge with her feet and over she went, backward onto the floor. She fell on her back and shortly after that her head bonked on the floor and the wall a little bit. But it didn't look like a huge fall from that height, and it didn't look like she hit very hard either. Her face screwed up like she was going to scream and I got between the chairs, table and wall and picked her up. By the time I had her in my arms and lap she had gone white as a sheet and was not breathing. I called her name repeatedly and told her to breathe, and was getting really panicked.

My sister, who is a Physical Therapist (and as such has dealt with serious situations, including acute wound care, and old people dying while she's walking with them in a gait belt during their therapy), took Sweet Pea from me and held her so that she was lying on her back, and she put her feet up in the air, I think to get some blood to Sweet Pea's head. Then Sweet Pea took a huge breath and started crying really hard. My sister held her until Sweet Pea realized that it was Auntie, not Mommy, holding her, and then she came back to my lap. She cried some more and went to sleep. We woke her up a little bit so Uncle could check her eyes and they dilated fine (both directions - getting small in reaction to light, and expanding again after the light was no longer shining in them). But she was in and out napping and stuff, very clingy, as you might imagine, and it was a good hour before she was up and running around and cheerfully chattering nonstop again.

My sister is a very strong person in situations like this and does not freak out like I do, yet she told me later that she was getting freaked out too. I had talked with our doctor about the previous experience but not in great detail because I think I mentioned it to him quite a bit later, and he had told me a couple other things to look for that were bad after a fall, such as the child sticking her tongue in and out of her mouth, and her hands grabbing at nothing in the air. It didn't occur to me until later this time, but Sweet Pea had been sticking her tongue out of her mouth after she came to, and I just thought she was thirsty and tried to give her a drink. But she didn't drink.

Well, that night we debated about what to do. My sister said that she would not trust her local hospital and since Sweet Pea had been through this before and we watched her closely and she *did* return to normal after a while, I decided just to call our doctor the next day. Upon doing so, however, I learned that he was on vacation for another week. Two members of our play group gave me their pediatricians' phone numbers, which I greatly appreciate, but since our family physician has known Sweet Pea since birth, I waited until he was back from vacation to do anymore follow-up.

Last week (or maybe the week before, I can't remember now) I called the doctor and described the situation to him over the phone and he said, "yeah, that's not normal; we should have her checked out," so he gave me a verbal referral and said that if the other doctor's office requires paperwork, he'll be glad to see her and write up an official referral. It seems our insurance does not require a written referral, though, so I went ahead and made an appointment with the pediatric neurologist for April 24th (the soonest time they had open).

We are on the cancellation call list, so we may get in sooner, although yesterday they called and offered me an appointment that had just opened up 15 minutes from then, and what with Sweet Pea and I both still in our pajamas AND the drive to the doctor's office being a 15-minute drive itself, that wasn't an option.

So that's one of the things going on around here... our doctor said that the tests may very well come back not showing anything amiss, but I'm glad that we're getting this checked out. I have not talked with ANY other moms who have had this happen with their children - and I've polled a lot of moms, from at least three different generations (but mostly ones with kids around Sweet Pea's age).

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Mah Hair!

Please tell me you saw "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou." I just love George Clooney's character's recurring line, "Mah Hair!" ha ha ha! Anyway, here's the promised pic of my new hairstyle... That is all.

If you haven't clicked on the "H-Dog" link two posts down, I highly recommend it for a belly laugh.

Preparing for Baby

While I'm in labor, Sweet Pea will be taken care of by her paternal grandma. She sees them (that grandma and Boopa, as we call him) every couple weekends and is very attached to them. They came over as usual this past Saturday. We had been talking about how we don't know what Sweet Pea will want to do while I'm in labor, whether or not she'll want to stay and watch or what, so we decided that she should try outings with Grandma and Boopa. So Saturday they took her out for an "adventure" in their car. She was all excited and climbed right up into the car and into her car seat once Slipshod had it attached in their back seat.

She came home a short while later with a soft toy and a teether for the baby, a soft toy for herself (it is undeniably a bear, but she insists that it's a kitty - LOL), and a new outfit. Grandma says they WILL take at least one outing before June that does not involve Sweet Pea coming home with new things they've just bought for her... ha ha ha! That lady sure loves to shop.

I don't know if we'll get this far, but if we can we may try a trip to Grandma and Boopa's house for Sweet Pea before labor. We've been telling her that if she wants to leave while I'm in labor and go to their house, even spend the night, she's welcome to do that. So far (still) only I can put her to bed and naps without a screaming fit, though, so we'll see... but everyone keeps telling me how adaptable kids are and I know that she is very aware when something different is going on. She has adapted very well over the past couple years when I've been sick enough not to be able to take care of her in the usual ways, so I imagine she'll be fine during labor. I sort of hope she can handle being here to see her baby sister actually born, but we won't know until the time comes whether or not she wants to do that.

Speaking of the baby, she's doing fine. She really knows EXACTLY where my bladder is and frequently pushes her entire body into it, and sometimes just kicks her little feet right into it. Eep! But she's moving and rolling all the time, kicking away and apparently having a good time in there. This evening we have a prenatal appointment and now we're going from one appointment per month to seeing the midwives every two weeks. Yahoo!

Monday, March 27, 2006

Books are Neat! And other thoughts

After literally months of coveting a chapter here and there when I could, I have done something amazing - I have FINISHED A BOOK! Finished *reading* a book, that is... I used to read constantly as a kid. I would get so into my books that I would not even hear my family asking me to help with the dishes or whatever. They'd have to take the book out of my hands to get my attention.

Then I went to college and HAD to read all day, every day. I still enjoyed it, but that's when I lost the habit of reading for fun. Got back into it after getting married - Slipshod reads every night and practically every trip to the bathroom and seeing him read all the time reminded me of how nice it was to escape into a book.

Then Sweet Pea came along, and it's been quick look-ups in parenting reference books ever since.

But some months ago Slipshod brought home a book for ME from one of his frequent stops at the bookstore, and I ate it up. The book was "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West" by Gregory Maguire. It was a good read; full of political intrigue and all sorts of dirty secrets about the Wizard and other characters. However, I was unfortunately pretty disappointed with the conclusion. There were quite a few characters and situations set up that were just completely dropped at the end. Perhaps they are continued in the sequel, "Son of a Witch." I shall have to check it out. I've also been given or loaned two more Gregory Maguire books, "Mirror Mirror" and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister." My next book report will be in six months to a year. LOL!

I also recently received two cookbooks in the mail, which I ordered, and one of them had such luscious-sounding coffee cake recipes in it that I made one the day after getting the book! And the coffee cake was delicious. The book is the Stonyfield Farm Yogurt Cookbook, and the coffee cake I made was full of apples, raisins and pecans (it called for walnuts but I'm more of a pecan fan) and of course yogurt, so it was absolutely lusciously moist. YUM... For some reason Sweet Pea is not a fan of said coffee cake, but that's okay - that just means there's more for me! Bwa-ha-ha!

Cleaning is going well around here... kitchen's still (er, again?) in good shape, sink's shiny, laundry's kept up with, and today Sweet Pea and I dusted and then I vacuumed while she hid. She's always been scared of the vacuum cleaner. Hope that wears off by the time she's big enough to use it. She had a really fun time dusting, though. I got us "mommy and baby" feather dusters, we set the timer (which she also thinks is SO MUCH FUN) for 10 minutes, and we danced around the house dusting the tables, speaker tops, dressers, etc. We finished the whole house in about 7 minutes. The tough part of the job was keeping the kitties from attacking and eating the feather dusters!

Some number of weeks ago I cleaned off my computer desk in the living room (it had been a HUGE clutter magnet) and although it still collects things during the day, I've been clearing them off almost every night. Usually I am the one responsible for putting said crap on my desk, but yesterday it was Slipshod. I can't believe he left his shit there even after I went all H-Dog on his ass. That man is courting disaster.

Of the groceries I bought last Thursday, I have only used so far what was necessary for ONE of the six menu mailer meals from the Saving Dinner website. Got to get back to that tonight. Going to make a quiche-like thing. The first dinner was angel hair pasta with garlic, parsley, olive oil, sugar snap peas and tomatoes, along with a salad and garlic bread. YUM. Tonight's quiche (they're calling it a tart for some reason) has tomatoes, broccoli, romano cheese, and of course milk and eggs in it - all in a piecrust, as you might expect. sounds yummy. And we'll (well, *I'll*) have a salad as well, or maybe some baby carrots. The meals are good, but I think this is too much grocery shopping and work for me with a 2 1/2-year-old and a baby on the way. But, we'll see... at least I know it's there when/if I DO get to a point when I feel like I can handle all the shopping and cooking.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Long but fruitful day

Well, today Sweet Pea got to spend five hours with her auntie! Auntie came down shortly before naptime, and of course Sweet Pea turned into a little wild thing upon seeing company. But she got to sleep at naptime in record short time anyway, which ROCKED. I then went grocery shopping ALONE, which was fantastic not only because I'm gunshy from our last grocery trip, but also because I had a HUGE long list today, and even by myself it took me forever to find all the items on the list. When I write my own shopping lists I write them to follow the way the store is laid out (I start from the first thing you see when you come in the door and go around the store to the other end). The list I had today didn't work that way so it took me longer to find everything.

Then I rushed home, hugged Sweet Pea and listened to her stories of what she and Auntie had been doing, my SIL helped me unload the groceries from the car, I gave her the sandwich I had gotten her at the deli, and then she unpacked my groceries for me while I got back in the car and rushed to the salon. Yeesh! So I FINALLY got that haircut - will post picture soon, my hair looks so much better than in the last post - and Sweet Pea did just fine with me walking in, hugging her, dropping a bunch of groceries and leaving again.

Sweet Pea is really getting much more independent these days. There are so many times every day when she says, "No Mama, I want to do it myself!" I am thrilled to hear those words from her and to watch her do things for herself, although sometimes I have to sit on my hands to keep from helping in order to make things happen in a less messy or quicker fashion. I know it's extremely important for her to learn to do things for herself and just as important for me not to take any part of that accomplishment away from her or make her feel like she can't do it herself - but I also have a slightly OCD clean/orderly freak (which you'd never know from seeing the state of my house... heh...) inside of me that wants to "help" so that things get done the way I would like to see them done. At least I realize that, right? And can stop myself. Hee.

Now, about the tremendous grocery list that I did not write myself: After reading about other flybabies' successes with and enjoyment of the sample menu mailers on (the $*&@# link thing never works for me anymore so I can't seem to make actual links in my posts, which is very annoying), I decided to try the free sample vegetarian week's worth of meals and see how it went for me. Thus the insanely long shopping list (we're talking 6 meals, each of which serves 6 people - I want to make lots these days anyway to freeze food to make things easier on us after the baby's born). I'll post about how this goes... I'm a little concerned about how much food I just bought. I'm going to have to cook like a maniac for the next week to use it all before the veggies rot! But I've got company tomorrow night for dinner, so what better day to start? Anyway, we'll see how it goes. I don't think I could ever get through a shopping trip that involved with Sweet Pea along. BUT, Auntie is going to be coming over every week, so I could use that time for my grocery shopping... but I want to be able to do fun things during that time, too.

Well, now I'm just babbling. Should have been in bed hours ago anyway. Stayed up way too late washing dishes, but I'm stoked to have a clean kitchen again to wake up to tomorrow. Yay!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Belly of a Whale

No, we're not having a boy and naming him Jonah. But I sure am feeling HUGE these days! And I still have 10 weeks (as of tomorrow) to go. ONLY 10 WEEKS! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! This pregnancy has gone by so quickly. We have SO much to do still. But don't let my nesting obsession distract you from the pictures. ha ha. I was thinking of posting some big belly photos last week and then Julie mentioned that she'd like to see how big I am, and I realized that I think most of my readership is in So. Cal. so pictures are the only way you'll be seeing this anyway - so here ya go!

I am huge. HUGE, I tell you.

Sometimes I accidentally knock Sweet Pea off balance with my belly by bonking her in the head. Poor thing. LOL! I'm just not used to the space issues of having a bigger belly - don't think I'm that close to her when I accidentally bonk her.

Weird thing is that even though I've done this before, I can't believe I'm going to get bigger. I'm starting to fear that this baby is going to be Sweet Pea's current size when she comes out! YIKES!

I was horrified to see how exhausted I look in this picture. I haven't beel sleeping well since I was about 20 weeks pregnant due to hip pain, but also the night before these pictures were taken I only got about 3.5 hours of sleep due to this cold that won't go away. I woke up at 3am for a potty break and then couldn't stop coughing when I went back to bed. UGH! I called the doctor yesterday and he said that Robitussin DM is okay to take while pregnant, so I'm taking that at bedtime now and if I wake up in the middle of the night. It helps some, but I'm still initially coughing up a lung whenever I lie down. Bleh. But thankfully I have had more sleep every night since this picture was taken (Sunday).

Monday, March 20, 2006

My Eyes! My Eyes!

My sister inflicted these images upon my poor unsuspecting retinas today, and I couldn't bear the misery alone. Share my pain! Ha ha ha ha! They're calling it a "Man Bra." Saints preserve us.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

More fun

Okay, first the not so much fun part: I really am sick now. Ugh. Not sure about Sweet Pea, she says her throat doesn't hurt but I can't tell for sure, and she woke up with a very stuffy nose. I've got a VERY sore throat and some nose issues. Urgh. Thankfully, Slipshod will be home early this evening after a doctor's appointment.

Here are a couple more funny pix of Sweet Pea that Blogger wouldn't let me post yesterday (I guess there's a limit):

She had SO much fun in the laundry basket!

Even folded herself in half and watched TV that way - ha ha!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Fun, fun, fun

Sweet Pea had a great time with her auntie today while I went to the dentist to get a filling. They made kitty tails for themselves out of folded envelopes, and used barrettes to make "kitty ears" in their hair. Sweet Pea didn't cry when I left - just waved to me out the front window, then turned to her auntie and said, "okay, let's play!" Super! We're going to start having Auntie come over once a week to play with her while I go to appointments, grocery shopping, or just make soap (using hazardous lye) in the kitchen, safely locked behind the baby gate.
YES, if any of you reading this are among the grumbling, demanding crowd of RavenMoon Herbals (would have made that a link, but I let the URL expire last year so I no longer have a website) soap enthusiasts who have been bugging me to get back to it for the past few years, you read right - I am going to make some more soap before the baby is born. Maybe this new arrangement we've worked out with Auntie will also allow me to pick up soapmaking again soon after the baby's born. I've currently got the ingredients for 6 batches, so I'll make what I can out of that and send notice when it's ready.

'Nuff said on that topic.

Thought I'd post some funny pictures of Sweet Pea taken during the past week.

Sweet Pea insisted on eating her lunch today like a kitty... plate on the floor, no hands or fork... note her "tail." ha ha! She eventually decided that using a fork worked better.

Piggyback selves portrait

Dig her shades!

Taking a break from scrubbing the sink to hold forth on the virtues of a clean kitchen (I am not joking). That's my girl! We washed all the dishes (there were, um, quite a few after the weekend of Mommy & Daddy both feeling sick) and then shined the sink.

Teaching the kitties how to use their new toy

Monday, March 13, 2006

Exasperation with Exacerbation

Let me tell you why Slipshod is not getting any better from this bug he brought home. Today he decided to stay home from work, since his health did not improve over the weekend. Here is how his "sick day" went:

Let's begin last night. He knew that he felt too yucky to go to work today, so he powered up his laptop and stayed up for a while answering e-mail in an attempt to take care of a few things before not going into work today.

Monday (this) morning:
6:15am East Coast call on the pager (being in Tech Support sucks...)
9:00am Conference call #1
11:00am Conference call #2
12:00pm Conference call #3
sometime after that - Conference call #4
Then he napped for an hour and a half or so.
4pmish Awakened by another call from work

Since then, he's been working on his laptop.

And he's supposed to get better WHEN? Unfortunately, this is also how the vacation time he takes when the baby's born might go as well - though I think he'll at least not be doing conference calls then. But we'll be home, so they'll never leave him totally alone. I am thinking of telling the company now that whenever they call him on his time off after the baby comes, his 2 weeks starts over from the END of each call. Bastards.

I think I also forgot to mention in my earlier post that through all of this joyous illness we've got going on here (it's really not that bad in terms of coughs, sneezes, snot, or any of that - just lots of exhaustion and some throat/voice weirdness), the baby has decided that she is going to try alternate torture/escape techniques. Namely, sticking her foot through my bladder, and trying to escape out the front of my belly. Whee!

But after I did finally get a body shower today (my hair is another story, but at least I don't smell anymore!), I have felt a lot better, and the baby hasn't tried to escape yet today. ha ha! Poor Slipshod still feels pretty crappy, but he thinks he may actually be starting to recover. Here's hoping! He always holds onto these bugs longer than I do; partially because he works through them which gives him less rest time to recover, and also partially because I hardly ever get any illness as badly as he does. Our doctor said in all seriousness that women, especially moms, are almost always tougher than the rest of the family when it comes to getting sick. Apparently we usually stay healthier, or get over things more quickly. I've never been able to tell if that's the truth, or if it's just that we don't complain as much when we're sick as men and children do. :o)

***The work continues... Slipshod received a pager call at 9pm and is still waiting for the problem to wrap up (waiting for the guy to call back and tell him whether or not what he suggested fixed the problem). It is now 11pm. I did mention to him what I wrote about his two weeks of post-baby vacation restarting after each phone call from work. He said, "no, but I don't intend to answer the phone much during that time either." Darn. I was hoping he'd end up home for a month or more. Hee hee.

Random Ramblings of a Sick Mama

This morning I awoke to the sound of a fire engine honking its horn. You know that sound, right? Whoever came up with that was a genius - it scares the crap out of me every time I hear it, and not just because the first time I saw a fire engine as a kindergartener at a demonstration in our school parking lot, I was scared to death that the firemen were going to choose me to be the kid they used to demonstrate proper usage of the Jaws of Life. Anyway, the fire engine wasn't that close - probably on the freeway - but I instantly knew why it was honking. Because nobody around here knows how to drive! I can't tell you how often I see people simply step on the gas, rather than get to the right, when an emergency vehicle comes up behind them. And then, of course, the fire engine, cop, whatever, has to honk or use their siren to say, "idiot, this is a REAL emergency, move yer damned vehicle out of the way!" I saw this happen on the freeway last week, and there were at least three cars in front of the fire engine. They did not get to the right even though people in the lane to their right responsibly moved to the next right lane.

I often wonder how the emergency vehicles make it anywhere in time. The ones whose drivers know where they're going, anyway... the ambulance that took me to the hospital last May after I passed out got on the wrong freeway and had to backtrack to get me there. Good thing I wasn't actually dying.

As for home these days, we live in a sick house. Slipshod was sick most of last week - feeling extremely tired, his voice going, that sort of thing. Drinking lots of water and tea, which is really odd behavior for him. But good, of course! But, also of course, he went to work every day last week. The only thing he turned down was the Saturday job he was supposed to help with. Yeesh. Unfortunately he didn't get any better over the weekend. Happily, today he is taking care of himself by staying home. Unfortunately, yesterday I woke up feeling like crap on a platter. Happily, even though he felt awful too, Slipshod took good care of me. Brought me lemon tea and water and meals, went grocery shopping and bought me lots of fresh deli-made soups and stuff from Whole Foods. Yum.

Unfortunately, we *think* that Sweet Pea is sick too. We can't be sure because she says she feels fine, but she is acting strangely. I think that her behavior as described in my "Worst Mother Ever" post may have had something to do with being sick on top of being tired. She has had a couple more meltdowns since then, thankfully at home, though ("I don't want a kween diapah - I want to keep my pee-pee diapah!"), and is actively avoiding her daddy, which she often does when she doesn't feel good. Last night she was struggling and being such a wiggly thing while I was trying to brush her teeth - and she hurt me while wiggling out of my lap - that I handed the toothbrush over to Slipshod and left the room. When he finally got the toothbrush in her mouth (after extensive explanation of why I had left and that she really needs to listen to me and not struggle so much), he called out to me that there was blood on the bristles. That has never happened before, so it freaked me out. I looked and looked in her mouth but all her teeth looked fine, and I didn't see her gums or anything else bleeding anywhere. I have NO idea what that was, but thereafter had guilty feelings that her throat is in such bad shape that it's actually bleeding. But that's got to just be me freaking myself out, because if her throat hurt that badly, I am quite certain that she would not be cavorting around like she usually does, chatting and singing all day long, or eating normally.

Anyhoo, yeah, we're pretty much doing a lot of sitting around here, watching a lot of TV and movies, groaning every so often, and drinking and napping a lot. The house heat is set at 69 degrees but Slipshod is wearing a very warm chamois shirt over his T-shirt and sitting under a blanket. I think it feels fine in here, but what do I know, I'm seven months pregnant. I'm always hot.

Hope I get to take a shower today. ha ha!

Friday, March 10, 2006


I've been trying to come up with better names to use for Miss Thing and Daddy/Hubby and me. Still can't think of anything great for myself, but I hereby change the following:

Henceforth "Daddy" or "Hubby" shall be known as SLIPSHOD. This is not a personal comment, after all I love the guy and am bearing his children! This is a name he uses often online.

Henceforth "Miss Thing" shall be known as SWEET PEA, which is what her daddy calls her all the time. I do, too, but lately she tells me, "no, *Daddy* calls me Sweet Pea. I'm your *sweetie.*" ha ha ha! Sheesh.

Not much going on around here today. Grey day. More rain just started. Cleaned out the fridge after breakfast (feeling GREAT about that - geez, did it need it) and kept up with the dishes after the meal & cleaning out the fridge. Yay. Small victories make me happy. The poor cats are begging for food and we do not have any cat food or tuna. They don't eat people food in general, and what with the rampant vegetarianism going on around here, we don't have things like lunch meat to even try on them. So they're just going to have to wait until Sweet Pea takes a nap, I take a shower, we eat lunch, and the two of us can get out to the pet store and back. I think they'll survive, I just hope that the furniture will, too.

Last week I really did write something that was NOT about me or our household, but in the process of editing and stuff I deleted it. May try again later today if possible. I really do have interests outside the house and family. Hee.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Worst Mother Ever

Okay, so I'm not on par with Medea or anything, but I am feeling pretty completely awful as a mother today.

This morning we made a family trip to the dentist. No problem. It went better than our appointments have ever gone in the past (in terms of Miss Thing, I mean - but this time I did unfortunately have a cavity - my first in 11 years). In fact, Miss Thing asked me when we got there, "can we go see Daddy (who had driven separately and arrived about 5 minutes earlier than we had) getting his teeth cleaned?" The staff were willing to let us do that, and since the dentist is a big huge sweetie who loves children, and probably also since Miss Thing is going to have her first dental visit soon, Miss Thing even got introduced by the dentist to all his nifty tools, and he let her play with the chair after Daddy's checkup was finished. And he gave her a toothbrush and fun red dental floss. She definitely took it all in. After Daddy's checkup she went to the waiting room and colored with him until the end of my checkup, when she came back in to watch me get my teeth polished.

So, that all went well. As we were driving home I looked at the clock and noticed that it was 2 hours 'til naptime. Although, I should have thought more about it, because of the way last night went. Anyway, as it was I asked Miss Thing, "should we go grocery shopping before naptime?" She was all giggles and fun and said, "Okay!" so we kept driving to the store. Things were going fine until we got to the frozen aisle. She grabbed onto a freezer door handle and wouldn't let go. She said she wanted to stay there. I insisted that we needed to keep moving, especially since she was starting to act a little grumpy. She wailed for the rest of the trip. Grabbed the side of the checkout counter and wanted to stay there. Tried to keep me from unloading the groceries into the car. Very successfully kept me from getting her out of the grocery cart until I figured out I should pull her out backward. Tried to crawl out of the car to run back to the store. Cried so hard I seriously thought she was going to puke several times.

I talked with her. I tried reason (what a joke - reason is nothing to a hysterical 2 1/2-year-old). I called Daddy to get a reality check and cool down a little bit. I knew I was going to have to shove her into her car seat and hold her down to get the seat belt on. I used every ounce of will I had to keep from screaming at her. But it wasn't enough. Finally, over Miss Thing's hysterical, choking, nonstop, ever-hoarsening crying during the seatbelt battle, I yelled at her, "STOP IT! STOP IT!" I noticed in my peripheral vision a strange movement behind the car. A woman stopped walking and peered our way. The side and back windows are tinted so she couldn't see in. In the minutes following, I noticed movement much closer and realized that she had come around to peer an open front window, I imagine to make sure I wasn't beating my child. That made me feel wonderful. I half expect that she took down my license plate number and will somehow get Child Protective Services to come pay me a visit.

Miss Thing continued to scream, but I got the seatbelt on and pretty well cinched up. I got in the driver's seat and started up the car and drove home, listening to, "Please don't take me home, please don't take me home, please don't take me home!" on the way, coming in more and more hoarse tones and followed by weaker cries. By the time we got off the freeway she was sitting, red-rim-eyed and staring, in her car seat. I thought she would be asleep by the time we got home. She wasn't, and of course once we got here she had become attached to the next place she was, her car seat. I expected that. She didn't want me to take her out, so I left the driver's door open, opened the back hatch, and unloaded the car. Then I opened her door and sat on the floor and talked with her. She was much calmer by then. I pointed out that our next door neighbor was grooming his lawn and asked her if she wanted to go see the "neat edging machine" he was using to trim along his walkway. It worked. Thank God.

Now I feel beaten. I feel like a horrible mother. I should have known, after only a half hour nap yesterday and two freak waking incidents last night (those happen almost never these days), the second of which lasted a couple hours, that we should have come straight home from the dentist. Why did I throw in that impromptu grocery shopping trip? And as always, I feel horrible for not having her on a regular schedule so that we KNOW when naptime is, and it is always the same time, and her body is used to it.

As if that weren't enough - yesterday was freaky too. I imagine it had something to do with lifting my 30+ pound Miss Thing too much. Up on my shoulders, carrying her around all wrapped up in a blanket (it was a funny thing she wanted to do - no shirt, but she was cold, so she wanted to wear her fishie blanket and be held "like a kitty"). Well, in the afternoon I started having some contractions. And they happened whenever I was up and walking around, or even just standing. I couldn't reach the hubby, despite sending a text message on his cell phone and calling several times. So, I had to carry on for the rest of the day & evening, through Miss Thing's bedtime, while worrying about contractions, and trying not to exert myself too much. Our midwife said that the contractions were normal - they were just Braxton Hicks. There was no regularity to them; they were just tied to exertion. She asked me if I had upped my water intake (which, in fact, I had as soon as I felt contractions, though I have no idea why - it just seemed like the thing to do). She encouraged me to take a bath with epsom salts to relax. Well, the bath didn't happen. By the time Miss Thing was asleep I was too hot to get in the bathtub.

Anyway, I thought being away from home for parts of two weeks in a row was stressful - this week is a doozy unto itself! And I am left feeling drained, depressed, and unfit.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Yay! Sharing!

Miss Thing is talking about the baby more and more often now, and wants to share her toys with her little sister. I think she may be getting impatient for the baby to come out (it's okay, baby, you stay in there until you're good and done!). She has actually told me in past weeks, "the baby needs to come out so I can play with her.

This morning Miss Thing told me when she woke up, "I'm going to share my fishies (little squirty bath toys) with the baby." We talked about it for a while while she had her little hand on my belly feeling the baby kick. Then we got up, and Miss Thing put three of her fishies down my nightshirt so the baby could play with them! LOL!

I can't believe I'll be 28 weeks pregnant this week. I feel like we're running out of time. So much to do - we need to go through all the rest of our stuff we've accumulated here over the past 8 years, do some painting (once again I don't have to help with that, due to being pregnant... hee hee...), pack up stuff that doesn't look good or takes up too much space and take it to storage, replace light fixtures, do a few repairs... all before the baby is born. We're talking about putting the house on the market just two months after she's born. Whee... we'll see how it goes.

For now, I've managed *once again* to get the kitchen back in order after last week's trip out of town, and I'm trying to catch up with the laundry. Once those two things are under control, I can move on to the "hot spots" - the futon by the front door, and the dining room table, and continue from there.

There should be ample opportunity for inside projects today, since it's raining again.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Home again home again, jiggety jig

I hereby swear off partial family trips for a couple more years (or longer - maybe five years). By "partial," I mean just me and Miss Thing with no Daddy along. Ugh. Our visit out-of-town actually went very well, but getting home was an entirely different issue. Miss Thing did not want to leave Grandma and Grandpa's house. Once I finally got her into her car seat and started driving she fell asleep for an hour, which was great, but then we got stuck in traffic behind a car accident and when I had to stop the car in traffic, she woke up. She begged me to let her out of her car seat. I considered letting her out and taking a little walk once we got off the freeway to drive through town to the next freeway. But then I thought, "what if I can't get her back into her car seat?" So I asked if she had a poopy diaper or was uncomfortable and she said "no," so we kept on driving. The rest of the way home was a concert of whining and crying and begging to be let out.

So, that's it. No more two-hour-away visits with just the two of us for a while.

However, our visit itself went very well. Miss Thing had a fantastic time with her grandparents and her Auntie who was visiting from out-of-state, who spent most of our visit on *her* hands and knees so she could play kitty cat with Miss Thing. ha ha!

Strangely, Miss Thing's favorite toy (a small squirty toy in the shape of a fish, which she has named after one of her grandmas) made it through the whole visit AND HOME just fine, but since that evening we have NO idea where it is. At least we know it's at home somewhere. I checked in the sandbox when we were out in the back yard today, and instead I found kitty presents... Daddy took Miss Thing out one day a few weeks ago and then left her toys out over two nights. Apparently the sandbox was open that whole time too. YUCK!

Although, when I think about it, the sandbox I had as a kid didn't have a cover - I'll bet we fished all kinds of nasty cat crap out of there on a regular basis. Ha ha - ewwww.

Last week I did purchase a prenatal yoga video, and tried to do some of it a bit ago, but Miss Thing got a little crazy throwing her toys around after a while. It's lunchtime anyway, and then naptime, so I stopped and turned it off for now. But those stretches felt AWESOME! YAY! Also, our midwife's assistant suggested at our last appointment that I could try taking Calcium/Magnesium to help with the hip pains, and although my pains seem more structural than muscular, I do think that the Cal/Mag is helping a bit. So maybe some of the problem is muscular. Anyway, I got three decent nights of sleep in a row after starting to take it, which was amazing. Last night totally sucked sleep-wise, but I think that may have had to do with only taking 1/3 of the recommended Cal/Mag dosage yesterday.

Here's hoping we get back on track around here today. I'm also going to work out a schedule/routine for us so we start having better, more structured days. I think that will help with a number of issues we have throughout the day. Okay, lunchtime.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Pregnancy dreams

During my pregnancy with Miss Thing I had a wild dream in which she was born, opened her mouth to nurse, and before she latched on I noticed that she had vampire fangs...

Last week's dream, second pregnancy:
We were at a checkup with the midwife and she said, "oh, there's something wrong. Despite what the ultrasound says, you actually ARE having twins, and they won't be done at the same time. So what you'll have to do is give birth to the first one, who is due around the due date we've been working with, and then you'll have to stay in labor for 7 more days until the second twin is ready."


The midwife said, "oh, you can do it - you'll be fine."

I said, "no, three days of labor with Miss Thing nearly killed me. I cannot do seven days of labor!"

That was it - I either woke up or moved onto another dream at that point.

Scary stuff! But I don't think it had anything to with my pregnancy itself - more to do with being scared about having two kids, and raising them alone in large part, since the hubby is at work so much.

Our prentatal appointment went well yesterday, I passed my glucose screen with flying colors, and all is well. My hips are killing me. Today I'm going to do more than just look up a pregnancy yoga video online - I'm going to actually ORDER one! Go, me!

The kitchen sink isn't so shiny anymore... I seem to have lost what routines I had while I was away from home last week. But the dishes are still mostly clean. After breakfast today (blueberry muffins & Ovaltine - yum - the timer just went off for the muffins), Miss Thing and I will have a Dishes & Fishes wash. She "helped" me cook the muffins by playing with measuring cups and her squirty fishies in a bowl of flour. Yep, she's kinda dusty and white now.

Gotta go get those muffins out of the oven -