Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Bit of a downer

Hmm, I just had a discussion with a college friend about possible reasons why a different college friend seems to be avoiding me... not returning phone calls or e-mails. My sister (not the Queen Manipulator), knowing that the unresponsive friend does not have children, told me that perhaps I talk about Miss Thing too much and that's why she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I hear that, and I know that it's annoying when all people talk about is their kids, especially when you don't have any of your own. The friend I spoke (well, e-mailed) with today, who also does not have children, echoed those thoughts and feelings but in a gentler way.

I hear what they're saying - really, I do. I remember being on the other side, especially when I couldn't get pregnant for ages (which is a completely different situation than we're dealing with here as far as I know, but another reason why it can be acutely annoying/painful to hear about other peoples' kids all the time), before Miss Thing decided to come be part of our family.

But it makes me really sad. I have friends I met when I was 5 years old who I can still keep in contact with, even the ones who don't have kids. I have made lots of good friends in my lifetime. I'm not really going to lose some of them because I had children, am I?

It is entirely possible that all I talk about is Miss Thing, though I've been told that I'm not as bad as some other moms in that way. Raising her is what I do all day, every day. And I'm pregnant. It's only going to get worse when I have two kids to talk about, when raising two kids is all I do all day, every day. But it won't always be like this; when they're old enough to be more independent, I will get back into my own interests more. I will be able to go out with my girlfriends more and spend adult-only time talking about adult things. Won't I?

But I also have to ask - is it really all up to ME to make these relationships work?

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