Clawing My Way out of Hell

I'M BACK! FINALLY! It was awful in hell. I'm so glad to be here again.

So we moved in August, as you read, but the first place turned out to be a pit with a clueless slumlord, so we had to move again. The new place is beautiful and in a great neighborhood and here we have very nice and responsible landlords. This place is actually what we were looking for the first time around, but it wasn't available then - I guess things work out for a reason, though we really went through awful crap to get here. Bleh.

The events of the past two months sank me into quite a depression and I am unable to ascertain if said depression is solely caused by that or if it may also be post-partum. The hormones definitely factor in as nursing demand increases, I think. However, over the past two days I have begun to feel as if I am pulling out of the dark place I was in, so hopefully I will continue my journey out of the hole and be a useful person, mother, wife, etc. again soon.

This move was supposed to help us see more of Slipshod but has had the exact opposite effect. Most of that is because of the other things we had to wrap up, though, with which I was unable to help. Once we moved the first time, Slipshod had to finish getting us moved out of our old house and get it ready for our renters to move in. When we had to move the second time, he had to finish things at that house as well, and deal with the movers and make sure we got EVERYTHING out. He also dealt with the correspondence (legal) between us and our first landlady, and on top of all of those things work has been a waking nightmare for him for the past month (though when you work in customer support, I think that's always the way it is...). Anyway, my point is that I have been parenting almost entirely alone for two months and I don't know how single mothers do it. It's awful.

So a large part of my depression has been due to feeling incredibly isolated. We barely moved half an hour away from where we were, but I might as well have been on the other side of the country! I've gotten in lots of trouble with Slipshod for racking up the minutes on my cell phone but I couldn't call out on the house phone either because it only had basic service - we were waiting for internet... blah blah blah. And besides the phone issues, my computer was only hooked up part of the time at the first house and not until recently here and that's where my address book lives, so I didn't have all the numbers I needed.

Anyway - worry not, dear friends, though the past two months were fraught with nastiness which I may or may not elaborate on tomorrow (not sure if I should really get into details until all the legal stuff is settled), we have ended up in a very nice place and are settling in quite happily.

Sweet Pea is really into the "why, why, why" thing now which along with her 3-year-old need to test my limits EVERY WAKING MOMENT and refusal to potty train are driving me INSANE. But I love her anyway. Actually, she decided during the height of chaos at the last house (the first place we moved, I mean) that she needed to start using the big potty. I was thrilled to help but moving again seemed to have turned off the interest. So now we're forcing the issue, because she clearly knows what she's doing and just needs to be pushed. If she is wearing anything on her nethers, she will pee and poop in that. So while we are home, I make her go naked. We have had two pee-pee accidents, but honestly I'm not sure they were accidents at all. This is all rather frustrating and I am concerned about her holding the poop - she doesn't want to put that in the potty. Yes, we've been through this before, the last time she was interested in potty training. And she got over it that time. But not yet this time. Whatever...

The Bug is growing like a weed and is as cute as ever. She started laughing about 6 weeks ago and is now grabbing everything that comes within reach - and putting it in her mouth if possible (can't actually keep her grasp on anything for long, so stuff doesn't always make it to the mouth). She seems to have been teething for a month or so already. I can't feel anything coming up in her gums, but Sweet Pea started teething at 4 months and popped her first two teeth at 5 months. I have a feeling we'll be seeing chompers soon. She is very competent at holding her head up while on her tummy and all that jazz, and rolled over from her tummy to her back last weekend. Hasn't done it again since, but often when she wants to see somebody who she can hear while lying down, or if she's trying to grab something that's out of her reach, she will nearly roll over (like tonight in the bath tub - YIKES).

I must get to bed, but had to pop a little note on here in case anybody was looking - though you're probably all on my e-mail list and have already had a bit of an update anyway. ha ha!