Bleh.

It's good that I didn't blog last night. I was in a very dark place and would have really let Slipshod have it - outed his never-home tendencies in more specific detail than usual, and worded more strongly how I feel about it. I really do hate raising two children nearly alone. The kids are great, but I would LOVE some help in raising them. That's how it's supposed to work, right?

The situation is not that simple, though. In many ways I can't gripe because Slipshod brings in all the money we have, and often does the grocery shopping if I can't make it out to the store (which I haven't been able to do this week because the back seat in my van, the one with the kids' seats on it, is out of the van, and the whole back of the vehicle is full of stuff that he picked up last weekend from storage). He deals with wacko landladies and lawyers and making sure that the people renting our old house are happy. He goes down there to water the plants and get the mail (forwarding order not 100% yet, and he still needs to run the drip lines for the flowers in the front flower bed).

I guess what bugs me is that on the nights that he's not doing that stuff, he works until 9pm. I take care of these girls from waking to bedtime alone, almost every single day. The girls don't get to see him. Sweet Pea is so used to not seeing him that she says she doesn't like him when he is around. And for me, that means that even when he is here, things generally happen as if he weren't. Mind you, we do come up with fun things he can do with her to get her out of my hair, and she's up for that - walks around the neighborhood, trips to Starbuck's - and sometimes if he's home by bedtime he gets her teeth brushed and talks with her a bit before bed.

I don't think I'm making any sense here, but I've just been having a more-than-usual difficult time raising these girls on my own. Does anyone know of a husband-rental service? I'm looking for someone who looks and sounds exactly like Slipshod, but I need him to be here by dinnertime and help with bedtime preparations. If he washed dishes that would be a bonus.